The absolute scariest emotion: happiness

With all your positive vibes and love sent my way the surgery went so well it’s like it never happened. …because it didn’t! 😂 I was all ready to go until my surgeon told me the case before me was taking way longer than expected. I’ve been rescheduled!

And, I’ve been overwhelmed with the amount of support that’s come my way and want to say THANK YOU. Sincerely and truly from the bottom of my heart.

Usually I keep quiet and let a few, begrudgingly, in to my messiness but I’m testing staying fully open; to the good and the bad, following my impulses, letting myself be where I am and wanting what I want, excited at what the Universe will throw my way, and *people*. I’m leaning in when all of me is needed, leaning back to see what/who shows up for me, and leaning on those who catch me when I need it.

So you better believe with these days-I’m-making-to-be-bonuses I’m daring the Universe with joy. Just for the heck of it. And because there are difficult times to come.

We think difficult times are the scariest… but they’re not.

It’s happiness that is the absolute scariest emotion.

Because feeling good is dangerous. It’s inevitable that it can’t last forever, so we wait for the other shoe to drop slash worry about what’s to come so we beat it there and decide that it’s much easier to simply protect ourselves from that level of goodness by staying in the mediocre middle ground.

The outer edges of emotion; extreme happiness and hurt, feel like too much. We’re not taught how to feel and so it feels like we’re out of control, we can’t handle it, it’s too much, and so we suppress these feelings, pull away, and stay safe in our heads.

We subconsciously, and inextricably, link the opposite ends of the spectrum of emotions together.

Crazy happy = crazy sad.

Insanely in love = devastated in heartbreak.

Bursting with hope = drowning in disappointment.

And I won’t lie to you, your mind is right; when you open yourself up to the highest highs it means you open yourself up to the lowest opposite at the same time. The lows ARE unavoidable. No if’s, and’s, or but’s to feeling disappointed, failing, and hurting if you’re living this thing called life full out.

Here’s the key: the bad is necessary for us humans to get just how good the good is. If life was always perfect nothing would have meaning. It’s the contrast of experiences that give us purpose in life and make the other achingly beautiful.

But to close yourself off to the lowest lows? That’s the greatest loss of all. It means you’ll never experience the highs. And man, are you meant for some good.

All I know through all my struggles is that we are way less fragile than we think, folks. And it is the good that’s way more difficult than the bad.

We can handle the bad, but the question is if we’ll let ourselves experience the good?

Because, and above all, staying safe in the mediocre middle ground is no life at all.

So just as the bad comes, when the good happens, let it happen. Revel in it, delight in it, share it, be grateful for it, soak it up, indulge in it, without worrying about when it’s going to go. Let it happen, and, let it go. Feel it all to the fullest, knowing it’s all fleeting, without being afraid. Say/do the things you want to do, give a second chance and take a second chance, and don’t hold on so tight because life is short, we’re all gonna be dead one day, and none of it really matters.

Fully feeling that sadness after being crazy happy, going from insanely in love to devastated in heartbreak, and bursting with hope only for it to actually burst and then drown in disappointment? Yes, I won’t lie, it’s hard.

But choosing joy simply for the sake of choosing joy, regardless of what may come your way the next day? Harder. That’s the trick right there.

I have some pretty damn difficult times coming up, no doubt. But that doesn’t mean right now is anything less than delightful, even mockingly so. But I guess that’s just the truth laughing at (with?) us when we get lost in the complications our mind makes up.

It’s really all just so simple. Live and let go. Ride all the waves of the extreme emotions for the fullest life.

And now for me? I’ve been running around like a mad woman trying to do it all before this surgery, so I’m off on a last minute road trip this weekend with the freedom I now have with my last chance for driving! Monday morning, you’ve got nothing on me in this moment.

Oh, and Universe? Make that a double dog dare.

Daring greatly,

Deanne

Deanne Vincent

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Creating Light Studio