Your darkness doesn’t scare me

;

I want you to know that I’m not scared of your darkness.

I’m not scared of the gremlins you fight daily.

I’m not scared of your white hot shame.

I’m not scared of your hurt, pain, and heartbreak.

I’m not scared of your raw, wild feeling.

I’m not scared of your mess and messiness.

I’m not scared of the depths and multitudes you contain.

I’m not scared of your tears, your rage, your grief.

I’m not scared of that secret you don’t want anyone to know.

I’m not scared of your worst fears.

I’m not scared of what you’ve buried within you.

Forget scared, I love all of it.

All of you is not only welcome, but wanted here. Because I have all of the above too.

But if you’re like me, you’ve probably picked up somewhere along the way that you’re only supposed to feel/be “good”. You’ve probably learned that your darkness, your depth of emotions, your intense feeling was too much for some people. You’ve probably thought that if people knew the real you, the darkness you feel, then they would leave you because it makes you unlovable.

Whereas the truth is that if people aren’t comfortable with your darkness it’s because they don’t feel comfortable with their darkness.

But your darkness is okay with me because I’ve learned to be okay with my darkness.

And I hate to break it to you, but your darkness isn’t really some big secret. We all have it. And your darkness dictates your life if you disown, deny, and suppress it; it’s written all over your life in exactly the ways you limit it. But owning, accepting, and releasing your darkness is the secret to creating the life you deeply desire.

You see, we humans aren’t only love and light… We loooooove darkness. We’re all dark and twisty inside.

Oh McDreamy.

And the only thing that’s “wrong” with those feelings and those parts of you is your judgment of it.

Denying our darkness and trying to only be “good” blocks us from “good” and perpetuates us being dark and twisty.

(Another one of those mindfuck-y paradox things.)

When I was growing up I used to relish hearing about other people’s deepest, darkest secrets because it meant I wasn’t the only one who had deep, dark secrets.

I felt so much shame for having scars on my stomach, but was only supposed to be happy and I didn’t all the time, and it made me feel unlovable. I did everything I “should” do, excelled by societal standards, and was a good girl… but felt untamed, restless, ravenous, and untapped unlimited potential inside, yet powerless. Yes, I’m a relentless optimist, always-learning-lover, and believe the best in people, but I felt more shame and shadows than love and light.

It was my surgeries and breakups since 2017 that forced me to confront my darkness; my worst fears coming true no matter how “good” I tried to be.

I stopped judging my darkness and gave it massive approval, space, and okayness instead of trying to change/fix/heal all the time and only be “good”. That’s when things changed. I started revelling in the pleasure I get from struggle, owned my darkness, and freed myself to be/do/have the “good” because I’m more than okay with my “bad” and the “bad”. Continually and again and again.

Now, I roll in the dark.

I want to share my secrets (to success) with you. And it’s not by only being a light and “good”. It’s by being okay with ALL.

Because there’s nothing wrong with your darkness. It’s natural, it’s human, one might say it’s even human nature!

But you need to meet, own, and be okay with your pain, gremlins, and darkness before you can ever truly unblock the potential in you, receive the “good”, and create love and light.

You can't be a force of good until you've owned the darkness of your bad.

The fear of our feelings, both our darkness/light and “good”/”bad”, ends with us. So we, our loved ones, and our children can be safe to be who they really are.

If you’d like, try writing a letter to yourself to meet that darkness. Like…

“Hi Dark *insert your name here*,

It’s nice to meet you.

(No, really, it is.)

You know those parts of you that you want no one to know? I love them. It makes me love you so much more. Because they’re what made me.

It’s because of you that I came to be.

Sincerely,

Light *insert your name here*”

Because behind everyone’s bright face is darkness in them too. You’re never alone.

Honour your darkness.

Tell all of your truth.

Unblock the real you.

And then the potential in you becoming a reality is inevitable.

If your darkness wants/needs out then email me at deanne@deannevincent.com to tell me about what darkness wants space, witnessing, acceptance, and love, and I will reply back with exactly that. No fixing, judging, or pitching.

But if this brought something up for you and you do want more one-on-one support, feel free to schedule a free Initial Coaching Call to tap into your whole power so that you can create the life you truly, deeply, darkly desire 😉

I’m not afraid of it and all of you. It’s time you aren’t either.

Dark and twisty,