Choose to live your big life

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We all-too-easily live lives that are small because they feel safe.

We were taught growing up that there were right and wrong answers to multiple-choice questions and think the same applies to how you can live your life.

We make choices based on practicalities that are dictated by fear.

We go through every day in survival mode; not enjoying what we have because we’re too occupied with waiting for the other shoe to drop.

We live a life of default and never question what they say we should do.

We feel restricted and limited — we can feel it in our bodies. It burns and it builds.

So, I invite you to pause for a moment and consider what life you’re choosing to live.

No matter what you’re not getting out of this thing alive: everything is impermanent. The only question is what are you going to do while you’re here?

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll choose to live your big life.

Big can mean you do the silly dance with your kid or niece/nephew because you don’t care what you look like in front of other people.

It might mean cutting costs mercilessly but spending extravagantly on the things you love.

Big could be making a faster decision instead of overanalyzing it because you know you can handle any mistake and bounce back and that you get to where you want to go faster with action than analysis.

It might mean letting go and trusting again, even, and especially, when it’s hardest because you know you’ll regret it if you didn’t try more.

It can also mean initiating sex, slowly, without knowing if your partner will say yes or letting yourself have an out-of-your-mind orgasm without clamping down, worrying about what you might look like, or feeling like it’s too much.

Big could be that you impulsively start to plan your next trip today, instead of continually pushing it off because the timing isn’t right, work is too busy, or you don’t have enough money.

It could be intentionally creating your life instead of just worrying about what could go wrong.

Your big life holds truth, freedom, expansion, beauty, expression, fullness, and love.

But, big can be hard.

It can be claiming what you really want and being so scared, but following that fear and doing it anyways — doing it because you’re afraid.

It might be saying “I want more” to that guy or girl who just isn’t meeting your needs, no matter how much you love them and they love you, and realizing you’re accepting crumbs when you deserve a whole damn bakery and it hurts like hell.

It can also be admitting that you want a relationship — a hella good one — so big means going out on dates, flirting, and having a jolly GREAT time like the catch that you are instead of complaining about how there’s no one good out there, dreading dates that are just plain dull, and avoiding it altogether and staying home on your comfy couch where you’ll end up thinking about texting your (actually-not-good-for-you-cause-there’s-someone-waaaaaay-better-for-you) ex.

Big can be owning that you have debt in order to brainstorm and find ways to pay it off.

Big can be realizing you actually have a lot of money and want to hire someone to clean the house, mow the lawn, paint the decks instead of doing it yourself or buy your dream car that is utterly unnecessary but completely fun.

It might mean not only having boundaries, but when it comes to the hard part of enforcing them, you enforce them — because a boundary that’s not enforced is no boundary at all.

It might be saying the whole, sometimes painful and uncomfortable, truth over anything else in a conversation with a loved one without knowing how they might take it or what the outcome will be.

Big can be sitting still and not saying anything, not trying to fix or do anything, when someone is hurting and simply keeping them company.

It could be getting your hopes higher than they’ve ever been and being absolutely crushed if it doesn’t happen.

It might be letting go of a business or dream and letting all those growth and personal development lessons ooze into your life in presence instead of it being turned into profit.

Sometimes, in fact, big is small.

It can be living in a small, hidden home off the beaten path with a willow tree in the backyard instead of building a giant, modern house in the trendy neighbourhood.

It could very well be creating a business that’s authentic and deep instead of a 6 or 7 or 8 figure sprawling empire.

It might mean buying the latest fashion of expensive clothes every season or it could mean having a simple wardrobe and wearing out your favourites over years.

Big could be travelling the world out of a suitcase and hostels or having a private jet and staying in luxury 5 star hotels.

It might mean moving fast, having wireless headphones in your ears blasting music, and strutting down streets with lights all around or it could be moving slow, siiiiiiiiilence, and more empty space in your calendar than colour.

It could be any weird, messy, surprising combination of these things.
It could be anywhere along the spectrum or at the wildest edge.
It could be both at times too.

Whatever feels big to you is your big life. There is no one way to live a big life. Because it’s yours, not anyone else’s.

But no matter what, choosing to live your big life means you need to become big. Because living your big life comes down to making big, not small, choices again and again: from as big as moving to a new city to as small as asking for your favourite dressing on your salad.

If you need help becoming big — it’s hard to do in a world that tries to keep you small, ashamed, and powerless while telling you that you should be grateful — apply to work one-on-one with me. As someone who felt much more comfortable going from surgery to surgery compared to easy success and love, I know what it takes to become big and I want to help you choose to live your big life.

Because you desire, and deserve, more and you know it.

So ask yourself: what does your big life look like? Email me at deanne@deannevincent.com or journal it out. You’ll know when you hit the mark because you’ll have a visceral reaction.