Be honest about your hunger

If you’re like me, somewhere along the way you learned that what you really wanted wasn’t possible.

I always wanted to be a writer, but “no one made money writing”.

And then, I lost my way. Other people seemed to know the answers so strongly that I began to second guess myself. I became alienated from my wanting — for good reason: it’s dangerous — and followed what they said.

I worked a responsible job.
I was in a relationship that made sense.
I put others first.
I said what other people wanted to hear.
I ticked off boxes I should in my twenties.

I did it for love. I did it because I was afraid that if I declared what I really wanted with sugar and sin, wickedness and wonder, magic and madness, then I wouldn’t be loved.

And sure, I was liked. Adored even. But it was never love.

It was exhausting and empty. I felt depleted and resentful. (And, honestly, a bit bored.)

I had put my hunger in a little box wrapped with shame and lived safely according to “should”.

“Of all the female sins, hunger is the least forgivable; hunger for anything, for food, sex, power, education, even love.”

-Laurie Penny

But within, I longed for something more. Something I already knew.

I wrote the phrase “honest hunger” a month after I started writing in my first journal in 2017. I felt hollow but, intuitively, I knew what would make me feel full.

My journal was — and is — my map to my most true, and beautiful, life.

And it is for you too.

Because when you write, you can’t avoid the truth.

And honesty has been the first step to anything real, fulfilling, and alivening in my life… like making money on my terms, god be damned GREAT sex, writing without filtering my “too muchness”, ze best friendships, and, most importantly, ordering exactly what I want from a menu.

I want you to feel the difference truth makes.

Because denying your desires and holding yourself back because you’re afraid of losing love is not helping you or anyone around you. If you keep others comfortable over your own body’s wants and needs, you may be liked, sure. But you will never be deeply loved.

There’s a voice deep inside of you. A deep voice that knows.

A deep voice that knows what you want.
A deep voice that knows exactly who you are.
A deep voice that knows your undeniable worth and unshakeable power.

It’s time to be honest about your hunger.

Because as Glennon Doyle said, “There’s no such thing as one-way liberation.” When one person liberates themselves, they automatically liberate everyone around them.