Humans emotions are not mutually exclusive

Human emotions are not mutually exclusive

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This time of year can be so damn full and social, but at the same time it can leave us feeling empty and alone.

There are wonderful magic and heartbreaking sorrow.

There are rampant emotions and survival detachment.

There are reminders of memories and renewals for moving forward.

And I think that’s the thing I’ve learned lately about being human:

We can feel both. We can be both. We need both.

You can be soft and strong,
fierce but also tender,
feel like too much and not enough.

You can be confused and still know,
alone but also deeply connected,
scared and choose to try (and try again).

You can be broken and still worthy,
healing but also whole,
deeply ache and still love.

This is our heartbreaking and heartbuilding ability as human beings.

We have the capacity to be at either end of the spectrum, at the same time, and ride the wave.

You see, our bodies were built for this thing called feeling. (Say what?!)

Human emotions are not mutually exclusive.

But we’re not taught this! We’re not taught how to feel it all. It’s hella hard, overwhelming, and uncomfortable.

We think these feelings will take over us and we won’t be able to function.

We think we need to lead our lives with our heads instead of our hearts because otherwise we’ll be irrational and our life will fall apart.

We think we need to have total clarity, no fear, and have it all figured out before *insert whatever we want to happen here* happens.

Bah humbug!

So we put so much pressure on ourselves to feel/be/do “good” that we end up numbing and suppressing the “bad” or try to move through the “bad” too fast that we stay stuck in the gunk.

And the opposite is the secret to living a life that’s more than survival: the bad is what gives life meaning.

Anything other than good is (also) what we’re alive to experience, feel, and embody.

It’s what gives us clarity, drives us forward, catalyzes change, and creates both innovation and evolution.

It’s the bad that makes the good that much better.

It’s our fallible humanness that connects us.

This feeling of it all is what makes us human and what the world needs.

The painful heartbreak, aching sorrow, sinking disappointment, and defeating failure in my life?
It means I had something that good to lose, risked, and actually cared. I’m one grateful and lucky lady.

So, this season and evermore, I hope you let yourself feel both.

Because you can be a crazy, complete spectrum of contradictions as a human being AND still be loved. M’kay?

A fellow feeling human,

Deanne

Deanne Vincent

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