For the full(er) story of my 2018 and what I believe in for us as humans, here’s a podcast that I did on “Life in Limbo” with the amazing Stephanie Pellett.
I was awkward at first, but then we laughed, and I also cried.
I talked about pain and pleasure. And a whole bunch of feeling.
It’s 36:36 minutes long, which is crazy because that’s my number. Well, along with 6. Don’t ask. Okay, do. Why 36? I won my first swim race (50m breaststroke) in grade 6 in lane 6 even though my goggles fell off when I jumped in. 6 times 6 is 36.
So this episode being exactly 36:36? The Universe never ceases to amaze me.
After the tears graced my face, this is what I said at around 21:30.
“My word for 2018 was pleasure. Which was kind of ironic, because by all means it was the most pleasurable, amazing year that I’ve had to life. But also the most painful. And that’s the idea that Brene Brown talks about; the numbing. I couldn’t have one without the other. It’s that pain that’s so, when you take a step back, and be like, wow, that’s how much I cared, that’s how much I loved, that’s how open I am, that it physically pains my chest. Even though there’s no visceral, I haven’t been stabbed, I haven’t been anything. But *that’s* how powerful the human experience is?! And that’s, that is beautiful. In this world. That we can feel something so strongly, that it’s just overwhelming. And it IS overwhelming that we don’t know how to handle this. But that’s something I think I want to change in this world. If there’s something that friggin’ breaks your heart in this world, good. You know? That’s a beautiful thing and that opens you up. And if that’s a beautiful thing that breaks you is there something you can do about it too.”
To the human experience,
Deanne
So, uh, I’d love to write you sometime…
If the feeling’s mutual and you want blog updates + the inside-est of inside scoops about my life — you know what to do. *motions to click dat button*