Truth, regardless of outcome

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Do you like fixing (although you probably say “helping”) other people so they can feel better?

Are you constantly aware of everything so you can right things when they go wrong or, even better, prevent them from going wrong in the first place?

Do you try to let go and surrender because *then* the right things will come to you?

Are you doing allllll of the personal development work to get what you want?

I hate to break it to you, but all of this is simply manipulation. Sneaky, coercive, exploitative, insecure ways we try to change and control things in order to feel better.

And that’s okay; we all do things to try to feel safe, valued, and loved.

But by doing this you reject reality and what’s really here for you to richly experience. You’re so attached to certain outcomes (and do NOT want others) that you try to control everything in order to feel okay/better. I’ll bet you a matcha latte that this probably leaves you feeling even more small, out of control, stuck, and worse.

Here’s what I want you to know, : you don’t need to manipulate or control anything… nor can you.

This whole life thing is not all up to you. You are not God and you do not have to play God.

Your only responsibility is to show up fully by continually and repeatedly letting go of all the ways your small human self blocks you and experience all the juiciness and joy there is — right now and here — with others and the world.

You can, simply, trust.

“But Deanne,” you ask/whine/exasperatedly sigh. “How do I do thaaaaaaat?”

Man, I feel you. I’ve been there, I get it.

In order to do that you need to know yourself (some might say thyself), be able to feel safe and regulate your nervous system through the highs and the lows, and express your truth no matter what.

That’s all it comes down to.

Tell all of your truth. All the vulnerable, dark, dirty, dreamy, big, small, uncomfortable, “shameful”, painful, longing, aching, powerful, hot, tortuous truths. No matter what other people may or may not think, what you may or may not lose in the process, how it may or may not hurt.

Because that is freedom.

You may think that if you speak your truth it’ll come at the cost of love…

Au contraire. Au contraire.

Your truth, all of it, is the only way for real connection, real intimacy, real love to occur.

I used to try and enter into a conversation with a goal or thinking I needed to plan exactly what to say. But instead, now, I let myself just show up and in each sentence do my best to choose truth over comfort, placation, avoidance, denial. Imperfectly and again and again. And that’s when the best path reveals itself and we get to the root of things: love.

I know it can be hard. But I want you to know you don’t have to change or control as much as you might think in order to feel better.

Try playing with speaking your truth for truth’s sake, and nothing else.

And you’ll see how it’ll lead you exactly where you’re meant to go.

Because a life with more depth, love, and meaning begins when you speak your truth.

Truth and love,

Always,